-noun
The dreaded seat belt extender. Almost always required for a side walker, or a double wide. There is typically one per airplane, and God help you if it is coming to your row.
Usage: Emma requested the fat strap, but she was so wedged between the two arm rests, even the most violent crash would not have dislodged her.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Double Wide
-noun
An individual that requires at least a seat and a half within an airplane row. This individual is usually a side walker as well, and typically requires a fat strap. This individual strikes fear into the hearts of even the common traveler, and can cause hours of anguish.
Usage: The double wide shook her head at me when i tried to put down the arm rest that would provide me safety.
An individual that requires at least a seat and a half within an airplane row. This individual is usually a side walker as well, and typically requires a fat strap. This individual strikes fear into the hearts of even the common traveler, and can cause hours of anguish.
Usage: The double wide shook her head at me when i tried to put down the arm rest that would provide me safety.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Side Walker
-noun
Large individual who cannot walk straight down the isle, and must side step, thus slowing the whole boarding process. There are varying levels of side walker, from level 1 to 3. A level 3 side walker typically spans the entire isle, touching seats front and back, and instills absolute fear in all who have ever had one as a seat mate. Typically requires a fat strap, and can also be deemed a double wide.
Usage: The side walker's ass brushed my shoulder as she lumbered by.
Large individual who cannot walk straight down the isle, and must side step, thus slowing the whole boarding process. There are varying levels of side walker, from level 1 to 3. A level 3 side walker typically spans the entire isle, touching seats front and back, and instills absolute fear in all who have ever had one as a seat mate. Typically requires a fat strap, and can also be deemed a double wide.
Usage: The side walker's ass brushed my shoulder as she lumbered by.
Pole Position
-noun
The A1 ticket holder on a Southwest flight. Can be associated with a smarmy attitude, Levi's action slacks, a company willing to pay for Business Select, and the willingness to wait poised with mouse for two minutes before authorized online check-in. For some unusual reason, always held by a male traveler.
Usage: He swaggered to his pole position, standing in an elite pose, separate from the pack.
The A1 ticket holder on a Southwest flight. Can be associated with a smarmy attitude, Levi's action slacks, a company willing to pay for Business Select, and the willingness to wait poised with mouse for two minutes before authorized online check-in. For some unusual reason, always held by a male traveler.
Usage: He swaggered to his pole position, standing in an elite pose, separate from the pack.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
High Docker
-Noun
A syndrome associated with the wearing of Levi's Dockers by Southwest personnel. Shorts or pants pulled too high, usually 3-8 inches above the normal waistline. Usually induced in an attempt to make men's cotton khakis fit well on a woman. Can induce other syndromes, such as Camel Docker, or Cottage Docker.
Synonyms: Uncle Buck Syndrome, "The Melvin", "The Erkel"
Usage: The High Docker performed her safety spiel with great gusto, oblivious to the fact that her belt was in her arm pits.
A syndrome associated with the wearing of Levi's Dockers by Southwest personnel. Shorts or pants pulled too high, usually 3-8 inches above the normal waistline. Usually induced in an attempt to make men's cotton khakis fit well on a woman. Can induce other syndromes, such as Camel Docker, or Cottage Docker.
Synonyms: Uncle Buck Syndrome, "The Melvin", "The Erkel"
Usage: The High Docker performed her safety spiel with great gusto, oblivious to the fact that her belt was in her arm pits.
Docker Violation
-noun or verb
The erroneous wearing of the most unflattering Levi's Docker shorts or pants that are two sizes too small for one's body. Typically associated with Southwest Airlines personnel. There are 3 separate degrees of violation, with 1 being the least heinous, and 3 being the most disturbing. Violations of level 2 and above can result in seam bursting with a slight bend over, and typically have one of the following associated syndromes as well:
Docker Toe
Docker Cheese
Use: Kendra's refusal to buy a new pair of Dockers resulted in a Level 3 Docker Violation, and severe Docker Toe syndrome.
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