-verb
The act of assuming the position to relieve yourself, if you are male, in the restroom on a modern day aircraft to properly hit the target. Depending on your height, this can be an extreme challenge, if you want to keep from pissing all over the front of your pants. For men above 6'6" the arch angle is impossible to achieve without opening the restroom door.
Usage: I was air arching during turbulence, and threw out my back.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Air Princess
-noun
Ah, the princess of the air. A late 20's attractive female that walks down the isle with a designer roller bag being dragged behind (way beyond size limit) banging into everyone as she tries to stroll down the isle. Typically has a matching purse hanging from one arm, and a matching designer laptop bag hanging from the other. Will be talking on her iPhone at high decibel levels while hitting every person on the way down the isle to her seat. It usually takes the help of 2 grown men to jam her overstuffed roller into the overhead.
Usage: The air princess, deep in cellular conversation, paused at the isle entrance to her seat, oblivious to all behind her.
Ah, the princess of the air. A late 20's attractive female that walks down the isle with a designer roller bag being dragged behind (way beyond size limit) banging into everyone as she tries to stroll down the isle. Typically has a matching purse hanging from one arm, and a matching designer laptop bag hanging from the other. Will be talking on her iPhone at high decibel levels while hitting every person on the way down the isle to her seat. It usually takes the help of 2 grown men to jam her overstuffed roller into the overhead.
Usage: The air princess, deep in cellular conversation, paused at the isle entrance to her seat, oblivious to all behind her.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Seat Seeker
-noun
An individual who realizes the absolute and total importance of finding their perfectly exact place in the Southwest line (if you sense sarcasm here you are correct). They will stop at nothing, through coercion or interrogation, to find out if you are before or after them in the order. Typically will flash a smile of victory if they find out they are before you.
Usage: The tired business traveler ignored the Seat Seeker's relentless questioning.
An individual who realizes the absolute and total importance of finding their perfectly exact place in the Southwest line (if you sense sarcasm here you are correct). They will stop at nothing, through coercion or interrogation, to find out if you are before or after them in the order. Typically will flash a smile of victory if they find out they are before you.
Usage: The tired business traveler ignored the Seat Seeker's relentless questioning.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Plasti-stew
-noun
A flight attendant, usually 50+ in years, that has had extreme plastic surgery, and or Botox, to try and stay young looking. This expressionless maven of the air can typically only move her lips, and you cannot tell if she is happy or sad.
Usage: The plasti-stew spoke over the intercom, and it seemed she was an expert ventriloquist as no part of her face moved.
A flight attendant, usually 50+ in years, that has had extreme plastic surgery, and or Botox, to try and stay young looking. This expressionless maven of the air can typically only move her lips, and you cannot tell if she is happy or sad.
Usage: The plasti-stew spoke over the intercom, and it seemed she was an expert ventriloquist as no part of her face moved.
Air Tease
-noun
A flight attendant that take a little too long demonstrating how to blow up your inflatable vest. This can be fairly disturbing if it is a male attendant (depending on your orientation of course).
Usage: The air tease gingerly grabbed the inflation tube, lovingly grasping it with her whole hand, locking eyes with me and demonstrating how to inflate.
A flight attendant that take a little too long demonstrating how to blow up your inflatable vest. This can be fairly disturbing if it is a male attendant (depending on your orientation of course).
Usage: The air tease gingerly grabbed the inflation tube, lovingly grasping it with her whole hand, locking eyes with me and demonstrating how to inflate.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Fat Strap
-noun
The dreaded seat belt extender. Almost always required for a side walker, or a double wide. There is typically one per airplane, and God help you if it is coming to your row.
Usage: Emma requested the fat strap, but she was so wedged between the two arm rests, even the most violent crash would not have dislodged her.
The dreaded seat belt extender. Almost always required for a side walker, or a double wide. There is typically one per airplane, and God help you if it is coming to your row.
Usage: Emma requested the fat strap, but she was so wedged between the two arm rests, even the most violent crash would not have dislodged her.
Double Wide
-noun
An individual that requires at least a seat and a half within an airplane row. This individual is usually a side walker as well, and typically requires a fat strap. This individual strikes fear into the hearts of even the common traveler, and can cause hours of anguish.
Usage: The double wide shook her head at me when i tried to put down the arm rest that would provide me safety.
An individual that requires at least a seat and a half within an airplane row. This individual is usually a side walker as well, and typically requires a fat strap. This individual strikes fear into the hearts of even the common traveler, and can cause hours of anguish.
Usage: The double wide shook her head at me when i tried to put down the arm rest that would provide me safety.
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